Hope and Joy

Everybody has their own broken heart experience. Some have toxic relationships. Others have unrequited love. Whatever that experience, it always makes a lesson. 

4 years ago, I have the worst broken heart I ever have (the least I hope). Never in my life how grateful how Allah give me that experience. That time, I lost someone who I thought I love the most. He left me because of other women. And I thought I'm not good enough for someone. I will never meet the right one. I never feel in love or good enough for someone. He said, I'm not good enough for him and he can't stay with me longer. He told everybody especially his family if I'm not a virgin anymore. That reason makes me get rid of from his family. This experience its so bad and makes me can't sleep for a month and losing weight. 

 I never knew, how toxic my relationship with him and I should grateful to Allah because he left me. He did not allow me to be successful and have my own career. He is not allowing me to have boyfriends in my life except him. I cant work with another man and also I cant take a better job in other cities. for him, he is more than enough to take responsibility in our life. for every his rule for me, he still left me with his secretary. He started with close with her and cheat on me when I put all my trust in him. He said I am the first, and she is nothing. He put me on the other side when he with her. In two months I stay in that condition. She never knew I still have a relationship with him. He still talks to me and still going out with me. I remember, he left me in front of the cinema. He promises, he will come to movie date in our favorite movies. I bring his ticket and waiting for nothing. I am all ready to give that ticket for some highschools boys who lost his ticket. I Crying all night. He never comes to me. That night, I knew he never back for me. He is not my baby again, how hard I tried and how I begging him to stay never make him stay. He still left, and that night I knew.

That night, I decided to start my life. I close my heart for him. I tried to forget him for all my daily activities. I apply all experienced as a student. I apply for an Asian development bank meeting and I apply for any possible research at my university. I study hard to improve my English skills. I improve myself.

4 years later, I release how lucky I am. I met the most adorable person I ever met. I fall in love and everything so right. we tight the knot on 8 March 2020 and he keeps his promises. He is a handsome young man, a religious and smart one who can talk about everything with me. From politics, movies, songs, and everything we can share with each other. We know we are still young newlyweds, and everything still naive. But how he treats me so well and made me so believe he is the one. The right one who I taught there never was.  

For everyone, every girl who struggles with a broken heart. Just believe, one day. The right one will come and you just forget every hurt in your past. Learn to be a better person every day, Pray, and believe.