Charles Dickens in my Childhood

After decided continue my studies, again.. yeah. I commitment to write more in my blog. Well, maybe one day I want to write a poem, my broke poem, maybe my opinion or maybe my useless opinion about everything. Maybe one day you got a green article or maybe my feminist opinion. Everything I want to talk about. I still confused, what I really want but maybe it’s not too dark like before.

Today, I got a little bit of free time on my own. Then I decided to use it for one journal. I open my ugm library access *yeah thanks to UGM to still allow their alumni to read journal for free*

And I found this,

Free trial journal until February 2020. Jstor's article about art and literary studies.

And I found this

"Charles Dickens: Great Expectations and the Evolution of Women"

As a  daughter from a lecture and growing up with so many books, Charles dickens has a spot in my childhood. I remember how I started with 'A Christmas Carol' and read it many times. 

 This journal talks about British popular writer : Charles Dickens. Who is Charles Dickens? 

Charles Dickens was a British novelist, journalist, editor, illustrator and social commentator who wrote such beloved classic novels as Oliver Twist, A Christmas Carol, Nicholas Nickleby, David Copperfield, A Tale of Two Cities and Great Expectations. 

Well, I'm not talking about who and everything about Charles Dickens. But I will talk about what I read from that article. 

I just know if you can see how the writer's life insight theirs. Such as Charles Dickens who wrote soo many orphans. like a oliver twist or david copperfield. Charles Dickens has a not much wonderful relationship because he slandered his marriages with a young artist. 

Well in this journal, you can't see much writer's opinion but it full of his books resume. Its some opinions but not much. 

Like 

How the writer thinks Charles dickens as a man in victorian era thinking about woman. How he thinks woman and her sex appeals. And how dickens love kids have seen in his point of view. 

For everyone who doesn't know yet about him. Please read first. I think Gramedia sell it in after they tried to sell an English book. 

New Year eve in Water

After all night long rain in new year's eve, Jakarta had a big flood. Not only DKI Jakarta but also JABODETABEK. Mostly and the worst is Bekasi, West Java.
well, this not too serious talk about where and when the flood but this is about my dumb opinion about why flood can happen in Jabodetabek.

so, why?

Well,
from not much literature I read on LinkedIn, Google, the guardian and also Jakarta post.
I ended up with some reason why...
first. 
Less space for infiltration.
well, BMKG told it because of heavy rain. But, it never is a problem if more space for water entering the land, right?

   But infiltration can be influenced by many factors such as type of soil, land cover, land use and rain period. Clay as a one of type of soil has sticky and fewer mineral items contained in it. Clay soil makes easily pound than another type of soil. 

    Land cover and land use as an important part of infiltration have different perceptions. Land cover is something covering and land use is how People using the land. Land cover such as forest, wetlands, peatlands, or grass. Land use such as highway, recreations, or agriculture. 

In my opinion, why Jakarta can be sink? not literally sink but flood
well because we had less space to give water naturally enter the ground. As a Capital City and center of business in Indonesia, Jakarta has 10.5 million people living here. Not much ground space without covering with way or housing. Then what city should do to avoid flood? well, take all the water back to the ocean. Any solutions? well, nothing faster than that.
How?
Build a big ditch, 
Build a waterway to the ocean. 
As I know, the city government even national government tried so hard to avoid flood with reducing flood every year. The city government normalization flood canals in Jakarta to send all rainwater to the ocean. Also, they employ an orange officer to clean flood canals, the road, and the ditch from the trash. The orange officer works every day, but they will be useless if everybody still throws their trash into the river. They work every time but the trash never been less. Many opportunities I saw, people who live near the river put throw their trash in the river.
and that makes me think,
why mostly poor community have a less environmental concern? I mean where they live, the everyday activities. 
It's okay to be poor, or maybe you just have a little space to live. But, it will be good if you have a clean space for your home. I mean clean have the same standard, right?
Then, Indonesia especially Jakarta still has a big problem.
reduce, the flood
I'm not mentioning avoid because I know it will be a big work and maybe a little bit ambitious.
and then, still need to improve community concern about their trash. 😀

Second, 

Jakarta topography.
As the fastest sinking city in the world from the BBC report, Jakarta living closely with the seawater level. From not too high topography, Jakarta sinking every year. From the misunderstanding government about groundwater and how to manage it. Mostly Jakartans used groundwater for daily use. Unwellmanaged groundwater make Jakarta have a big hole. It called subsidence. 

Subsidence - sinking of the ground because of underground material movement—is most often caused by the removal of water, oil, natural gas, or mineral resources out of the ground by pumping, fracking, or mining activities. (https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/) 

Because, if we are not working together to solve this

it will be more serious 

Unless reducing the flood, traffic jams, slums, and the unemployment government run away with move capital city planning. Is that the answer? Absolutely not. Maybe it will be moving the problem too. 
After a look at these, tell me what is your opinion?  Have you biopori hole in your yard?

ym

Jakarta

Feel out of time

did you ever feel tired? not because of someone but tired of yourself? You are running, but you always late. aaah, maybe not late? but out of time. Like you want to finish all your deadlines in one day but you ended up with sleep, napping, did something useless the out of time.
You want to be someone who uses their brain, or maybe researcher or scientist. but, once again you cant.
 I don't know why. I can't find what is my field, where I belong, or where I should be, the place where I am an expert.
What's my passion? Idk.

What Happen? Jakarta in everywhere

In the middle lazy day in office,
I try to understand what happens in Indonesia.
I've worked in Jakarta for two months. and I realize, everything about Jakarta. people said it is Jakartacentris. ya that's true.
before I came here, I don't think how important Jakarta is.
I live in Yogyakarta for my whole time. And always thinking why Jakarta become Indonesia center.
and then, I know and the answer is Jakarta is home for every race and tribe. Every broadcast center or publication center located in Jakarta. Easier and cheaper to publish Jakarta news than other locations except it's important enough to publish.
so first, at the beginning of September, Mr. President announced to move the capital city from Jakarta to East Borneo. I'm a skeptic and confuse. Is it big risk moving the capital city to the middle virgin forest? How the world thinking?
How the world thinks after putting their money to restoration and someone wants to destroy it all...
 Then, I heard Mr. President want to some 'badan' or organization just to prepare moving capital city.
Borneo, the virgin island. Not to the virgin. maybe you can call it a girl who masturbates or maybe a girl who kisses, maybe blowjob her bf but keeping her virginity.  Not to virginity, not too insane, and not too naive...but have a little bit bad things. She wants to be a virgin mary but she wants to be metropolitan girls. Borneo wants to be a city, Borneo want to be heard, want to be Jakarta.
Everything and every people wants to be Jakarta. and I think its because of how media tell Jakarta.

I'm Scared

Im scared but you in here
I'm scared
I'm scared but you hold my hand
I'm scared
I'm scared but

you said please don't give up

I want myself

Maybe I want more
Maybe I need time
to put me on top
to put me where I belong
this is about me.
I deserve more and I don't want to blame myself anymore.
I will show my best.
I will bring happiness to myself.
I don't give any chance to sadness, blaming, fake, and lie.
Anymore.

Tired for Love

Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. I find myself tired seeking for love. I never imagined myself saying that about anyone. I wanted to be in love, but I really didn’t think there was any way I’d be so in love with someone who reciprocated all the same feelings. I thought I was being patient and waiting on the right guy, but I wasn’t being patient or waiting at all.

What do you want to do?

What do you want to do?

Until the end 0f 2018, I always said my goals or what I want to do is having a career in University. Being a lecturer, mom, and wife. I thought I knew what I wanted. I thought I wanted to be lecturer like my dad for the rest of my life. I thought it was for me. But is it? Lately, all I did is a focus to be a lecturer, studying or did anything to smooth my way to be a lecturer. But I do not enjoy. Then I ask myself, why? 

Why these dreams have gone? Where my motivation go? 

Then, I knew it. I want something different. I want something cool like working in a cool company then I can tell everyone where I work. LOL. Well, I'm not exactly knowing what I want to do, I apply in many many many job vacancies. Not everything but still thinking if I work in there, what I want to do. I already gave up because it never moves forward. They don't see my application and then yesterday, one application which is 3 months ago have good news. Not exactly I got that job, I still have some of the stages to get that. But I mean, it gives me hope. Hope I can be that person, I can be the one who wears good clothes and good shoes and maybe trying living alone in a big city. 

My point is, anyone can change their plans, what they want in life, anytime any ages. Do the best, be the best of yourself. Change what you want, be better. Live life you have and don't regret it. 

anyway, I feel lonely. Haha. Maybe I am happy by myself, but I still miss him. Like a lot. I just want to be like before, how he looks at me or how he takes care of me. How he called me, how he text me, how he told me his day, what he's thinking etc. Then I realize, he can't be like that anymore, it's simply he lose his interest for me and he loses his love for me. Maybe before he loved me like he never loved anyone before. But today, he pushes me away like what we have been through is nothing for him. And I give up. Like what can I do to fix this? nothing right? 

It's not me, it's him. Someone who can be fixing anything. 

I just want him happy. I can do anything to make him happy. 

YM

I'm So In Love

I'm so in love 

with you

I'm so in love 

until

I forgot how to love 

myself

I'm so in love

with everything 

I have 

I'm so in love

until 

my tears dry

I'm so in love

until 

you decided

I'm so in love 

and 

You Walk Away

I'm so in Love

and 

We Stop

YM

Friday Giving

What have you given to someone else today? Smile? Greetings? Maybe say hello to the old man who accidentally passing you? It has the power to change lives; changes someone.

You are possible to give everything. 

Love can be a present. 

A smile can be a present. 

It’s important to appreciate the little things in life. 

We tend to get so obsessed on the material things, we lose sight of our purpose. If money isn’t a worry things in your life and you can afford most things, share the love. 

If you can barely afford to feed yourself, still, share the love.

Life can get tough and throw random we don’t expect, but all we need to remember is we’re alive today.

This man

Every day, he sits with his wife under the tree. Waiting for someone to buy, with his smile and pray. 

He told me, all his kids move to another city and never come back since they left them. He said, he is thankful to God because his wife never left him alone. Both waiting and sometimes he fondling her. Someday I see she hold his hand. I don't have any twitter account and I can tell people with "Twitter please do your magic" twit. 

For me, that kind of twit shows how people don't care what happens in outside. You do not need people to tell you how to be care, kind, or help people. You just need to open your eyes.  

So, 

Tell to yourself and remember 

“The only person, you should try to be better than is who you were yesterday.”- Kaizen

YM